by Steven A. Melnick — Picture the familiar scene of visiting your child’s school during Open House or Parent-Teacher Conferences. Open House is usually a pretty festive occasion. Parents are walking the halls perusing the bulletin boards and displays of student artwork, compositions, and projects. You are seeing some familiar faces and, perhaps for the first time, meeting parents of children your child plays with and talks about at home. Often, but not always, your child might be at your side excitedly pointing out what he/she has been doing in school. Parent-Teacher Conferences, on the other hand, conjure up memories from our own school years and feels more like being summoned to the Principal’s Office (not that I ever was!!!). Think of Parent-Teacher Conferences more like the festive occasion but without the crowd!
A Parent-Teacher Conference is a special time for you to find out information about your child’s academic performance and emotional, social, and intellectual development. It is a time to discover what kinds of activities your child is doing in school and to find out how you can help. But equally important, it is your opportunity to help the teacher understand your child better so he/she can help your child even more.
Here are some things you should be sure to tell the teacher…
- Health Issues: Is your child diabetic? Hypoglycemic and need a snack regularly? Allergic to anything (bee stings, peanuts, etc.)? Have other diagnosed conditions (e.g., hearing or vision problems, epilepsy)? The more the teacher knows, the better prepared he/she will be to help your child.
- Family Issues: Is there anything happening at home that is affecting your child? Separation? Divorce? Has a pet died? A loved one died? Is anyone suffering a long-term illness? Have you moved recently? Has your child’s closet friend moved? Has someone lost their job? Although sometimes hard to discuss, it is important the teacher know anything that might affect your child emotionally. Often, a teacher can be a source of comfort to the child and help them through a variety of situations.
- Special Interests: What hobbies, games,sports…etc.? Piano lessons? Dance? Gymnastics? If your child has free time, what does he/she want to do? Computer games? A teacher can often use related activities to make learning more interesting to a student who needs some additional help. Or be able to ask your child questions in the context of his/her special interests to foster understanding.
- Changes: What changes do you notice in your child? Have they suddenly become sulky? Disobedient? Fearful? Excited? Eager? Have more friends? Have fewer friends? Changes in appetite? Do they want to play outside more or are they shutting themselves in the room more? Anything you notice that is a change in your child’s normal behavior may be a sign that trouble is brewing at home or in school. Also notice if your child is seems to be enjoying school more. In either case, it’s important for the teacher to know.
On the other hand, following are some key questions you should ask the teacher…
- How is my child performing academically? The important context for this question is not how your child is doing relative to other children, but how you child performs relative to the goals and standards established for his/her age group.
- How is your child’s work evaluated? It’s important to understand how your child’s work is graded. Does the teacher use a lot of tests? Quizzes? Hands-on assessments? Other types of assessments? How are grades calculated? How are the teacher’s expectations conveyed to the students?
- What can I do at home to help? Does the teacher give homework? How will I know what is assigned each day? Are there specific activities you could do to help your child learn better? How can you use the available reading materials you have in the home? Much research about schools indicates that when the parents are involved in a child’s education and place importance on learning, the child tends to do better in school.
- Does your child get along well with the other children? Social interactions can be a clue to a child’s happiness or to problems brewing. Be aware and tuned in.
- What resources are available to help your child? Do parents have evening access to computer labs? Are there laptop loans available? Library? Are there any community resources you aren’t aware of? After-school programs? While there are many ways to help your child at home, knowing what resources are available will help you make good decisions.
Many parents see parent-teacher conferences as a time to get bad news. In a survey of more than 5,000 parents, the most frequent reason they give for going to their child’s school was because of a problem (behavior, academic, etc.). Parent-Teacher Conferences should be a time to collect and provide information to help you child. It’s a two-way street.
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